A sampling of my own contradictory, less than ideal tendencies:
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| Sometimes we just have to relax and let it all hang out, you know? |
- While I don't use many store bought personal care products at all, I still go to the salon every once in awhile for a pedicure. While there, I breathe in all sorts of awful fumes and soak my feet in a host of toxins. This makes no sense, but somehow it really does make me feel good. One day I will live near a "green" salon.
- I am a fairly strict vegan most of the time, but I value kindness and graciousness as well. Every once in awhile, I eat something that quite possibly contains dairy or egg, not because I really want it or because I can't help myself, but because I feel it's the most polite and reasonable thing to do.
- I advocate a healthy diet that includes minimal processed foods, and I have a sweet tooth. I can go weeks without sugary foods, but then I may have a sudden craving for Newman O's, and I may give in to that craving and buy a box, and then I may eat half of said box in one evening.
- I also have days where I feel far too overwhelmed to cook. If I don't have it in me to go out, I'm not above popping an Amy's pizza or burrito in the oven for dinner. There have definitely been days when this overwhelm lasted through breakfast, lunch, and dinner, leading me to pull out frozen, totally not homemade options for all three of our meals. I would like to say that I cook extra on days when there's time and freeze it for a rainy day, but at this point I'm just not that organized.
- I find that Annabelle and I both feel better, and that I am much more productive when we follow a routine that involves getting dressed and ready for the day very shortly after we wake up. Some days, however, I am tired, distracted, or overly focused on some other task and I find myself still in my pajamas at 11am.
- I love the idea of buying local and keeping my money in my community. I also live in a very geographically isolated location where many items are overpriced and others aren't available at all, so I end up ordering things online at least once every couple of weeks. In fact, I usually order from Amazon for the free shipping. I know that there are far more sustainable options, but I'm not ready to make the switch just yet.
- I believe in raising awareness and working to normalize breastfeeding by exercising my right to nurse anytime, anywhere. Especially as Annabelle gets older, however, shyness and self doubt occasionally get the best of me and I put off nursing until I can do it in private. I kick myself later.
- I love the idea of community, and I'm thankful to have a pretty great one, but some days I just don't want to be around people, so I stay home.
I don't always remember to take my own advice. I say things I don't like, and do things that go against what I believe in. I let laundry pile up, and I don't sweep my floors often enough. I sometimes get snippy with my husband, or impatient with my daughter. There is surely more that could be added to this list, but in short: I'm not perfect. I'm a work in progress, and hope that I always will be.
What are your contradictions?
Oh, Melissa. You are perfectly yourself and that is waht matters to yourself and your family.
ReplyDeleteI was feeling bad because we have been having some issues with jealousy around here recently. I know what to do but it takes a lot of time, particularly with three to sort out. When I finally go myself organised enough so that I could spend a reasonable amount of time with each child, I found myslef rolling on the bed with Abi with a finger stuffed up each nostril. That might not necessarily sound like great parenting, but for this mama and her 11 year old it was perfect!
You only have to be good enough for your family. Not anyone elses!
I am not sure that this post helped much... LOL. My contradictions are much more severe and I'd be lying if I said that your last post didn't make me feel a wee bit bad about myself. But still, I know that my family is much more conscious in our decisions than most, and when we do make an unhealthy choice we do so mindfully and with balance.
ReplyDeleteKudos for posting these things though. They ARE inspiring, and I've held back on posting too much about my goals OR contradictions for fear of judgment. Maybe it's time to write it all out.
I think this is a great post because it reminds us of two things: 1) that we all fall short of our goals sometimes, and 2) that your goals might not be my goals. Where we have shared goals, I might sometimes look at another family and think that they have it all together and I am a mess, but that doesn't show those things that I am doing well for my family that are not priorities for yours. No two families are the same, and therefore no two sets of goals/priorities are the same. I think it is amazing that you only crave sugary foods every few weeks, but I know that, after growing up in a house where we had a huge amount of pre-packaged cakes, chips, and soda around all the time, it is a very satisfying goal for me to make most of my meals from scratch and limit myself to one sweet thing a day. And that is okay.
ReplyDeleteI think even if you do occasionally paint a rosy picture of your life, the spirit of every post is to encourage and build up the members of this little community, and that is why I come back every day!
Thanks for the encouragement, Anna. I have said it before, but I am continually inspired by the way you understand your children as individuals and are comfortable parenting them in the way that you know work best for them, unapologetically. I hope that I will have the same flexibility and wisdom to adjust my philosophies where needed as Annabelle gets older.
ReplyDeleteYou make a really good point. I think it's the mindfulness and balance you mention that's key to improving, despite making less than ideal choices along the way.
ReplyDeleteWhat an insightful and encouraging comment! Thank you, Amy! You are spot on, really.
ReplyDeleteI should clarify regarding sweets that I said I *can* go a few weeks without sugary foods. Sometimes I get inspired and do this. Most times I don't ;) I have a square of dark chocolate most every day (sometimes a couple more for good measure) and I bake at least once every few weeks, but sometimes more than once in a week. It all depends!
"I think even if you do occasionally paint a rosy picture of your life, the spirit of every post is to encourage and build up the members of this little community, and that is why I come back every day!" -- that sweet sentence really made my day. I'm really glad that's what comes through for you. xo
You're keeping it real Melissa, while not being afraid to shoot for the stars.
ReplyDeleteI'm finding your blog so much more accessible, while at the same time inspirational, than some of the other more "soft focus" ones. Loving your posts.
Yup Amazon all the way for us deserted island types!! I have a list of contradictions that could spend all night thinking up but it's all perfect really...living and learning and growing and evolving! I'd definitely devour a pack of Newman O's if I had the chance and freezer food for a whole day sounds like a really good option for a sometimes stressed out kitchen Mama like me! Maybe I'll swap my island and come and live by you!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Rach! That means a lot, really. I love reading about the adventures of Annabelle's counterpart across the globe, too! :)
ReplyDeleteOh, I would love that! You're welcome to crash this rock any old time ;)
ReplyDeleteWhat a great idea to post a follow-up of the "real you." I find a lot we have in common — and a lot where I'm still worse than you. ;) (I'm not too sheepish, though, so it doesn't bother me.)
ReplyDeleteWhen we were vegetarians, we made exceptions for gatherings where it would seem impolite to refuse the food someone hoped would make us happy, so I totally get that. And I felt the same pull to limit public breastfeeding as Mikko got older. I sometimes felt bad about that, but I think it's only natural when you live in a culture that thinks breastfeeding beyond infancy is pretty weird — as much as I liked the theory of being the extended breastfeeding poster child, I personally didn't want to draw negativity toward us.
Anyway, thanks as always for sharing who you are. We like what we see. :)
You will because you are aware of it. I was made aware of how to parent by a very dear friend who I now see only once a year. For me, those precious days when I can soak up her wisdom are incredibly important but it was her first comment, that only I was the expert in my child and it was my responsiblity to teach everyone else how to understand her that got me on my way. The second most important thing she taught me was that children are incredibly forgiving and that if I had an off day, that was a needed lesson for my child in what it is to be human, if I got it better most of the time. Not rightm because there is no right. Better is as good as it is going to get. And it is fine for a child to learn that better wrapped up in love is a whole lot more important and useful and right than perfect wrapped up in guilt or worry!
ReplyDeleteWise lady, my friend!
I have contradictions too numerous to list. :) The way I see it, those contradictions are either about making our ideals workable right now in this moment or they're the midway point in an ongoing transition. Compromise is what keeps everything ticking and perfectionism is its enemy.
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